9:28pm October 12th, 2007
Ok so… as of yesterday I am not single LOL and I am absolutely happy with everything right now. See I don’t get why people are shocked… ok fine I sorta do but it’s not that big of a deal ok? It’s just Russell, can’t I like him? Gosh… >>;; Anyways… just two more days until you come back from Utah and I’ll be really really happy =) Haha I’ll be smiling so much on Monday… Jen’s Sweet 16 + everything else… xD Sometimes I wish time could go by just a little faster when I wanted it to. But life doesn’t work the way we want it otherwise why would we even go through our life… right? Okay I don’t think I’m making sense but that’s ok…
You’re telling me that you’re probably leaving for Utah to go to university next year. For me that’s horrible news… I mean I know you’ll have such an awesome future and better education in that university but… that was hard news on me… It was like as if half my world came falling down on me for no reason. I want to spend quality amounts of time with you now… Because a year goes by QUITE fast… I don’t wanna look and regret that I didn’t spend enough time with you… I really don’t wanna see you leave and have me get all “Oh my gosh I’m so stupid” kinda stuff… I mean you are graudating this year and I’m not so I can’t do anything about that… >.< I hope this year will go slowly but with happy memories created <3 I do truly love you… <3
OKAY smexie family is apparently broken? I honestly wish you never appeared in my life…. Yes you made my life more interesting but I absolutely hate you now… I do not care about you anymore… I’m sorry but you really hurt me… EVERY part of me has a scar on it… written with GOR GOR all over it… and it hurts ok? I will probably forgive you some random day… in the far future but this is one thing that I’ll probably either forget with happiness because my brain doesn’t want to remember you or because I’m mentally disabled >>; How many times have you let me down… How many times have you made me cry? How many times have I told you I will never hate you because you’re my “brother”… You could NEVER get on my last nerve… but you did you cut off ALL MY NERVES and ruined the last one… and I WILL go bizarre if you get on my last nerve… I’m sorry I made you cry… but at least now you know how hurt I am if you even think about it. Don’t you remember me telling you about how if I slap you and not cry… it’s the worst thing that could ever happen… this is the second or third time I’ve brought this up… I’m writing this without feeling a single pain in my heart… without crying a single tear… that shows you how much this is affecting me… Trust and honesty doesn’t exist between us anymore… You’ll never ever be my gor gor again… You just can’t… no matter what happens… If it ever did happen… I probably had a memory loss… But for now… You’re Alex and I’m Belinda… the only connection we have… You are Tivona’s boyfriend and Tivona is my “sis” that’s it… no more no less…
~Belle
