Spring Break Recap~ March 29, 2008

10:18am March 29th, 2008

So… guess what?  Spring Break is gone ==… freaking I HATE THAT SO MUCH.  I loved my spring break this year and I wasn’t ready for it to be over.  Sheesh >>;;  So lets do a small Spring Break recap so I don’t forget everything that happened this spring break!! Though I must admit I did do a lot… but I could have done way more… =/

Saturday March 15th 2008:

As always I had to work… 2-7pm shift… it wasn’t bad.  Then I went over to my sister’s new apartment for her housewarming party with family.  Hot pot… was good =]  We went over to their clubhouse afterwards to play badminton and basketball… it was FUNNNNNNNNNN =]  (yes there was a pool table Sherman… I don’t know why I’m writing this but I figure you’d be reading this one day LOL). 

Sunday March 16th 2008:

I believe there was already a blog about this day underneath.  You woke up early for me… and we went to drop in together =]  Alongside with a couple of other people.. duh   Cutest part was you kissed me on the cheek… I don’t think I’ll forget that =P

Monday March 17th 2008:

I stayed home that day… baking sugar cookies with my mom.  I believe that was about it… I didn’t have much to do and I was completely out of it when it came so close to skating ==  I WANTED TO GET OUT OF THE FLIPPING HOUSE!!  You have to admit that it’s boring when you have got nothing to entertain yourself with… haha ok yeah not funny ==

Tuesday March 18th 2008:

Oh my gosh.  Skating finally came!  Sherman drove me down to the rink =]  It was freaking hailing too…. and you were speeding down the mountain == We had loads of fun though =]  Best part was skating with everyone.  Lets see who was there… girls:  susan june megan monique tina cat and I.  Guys:  sherman ken calvin julian russell john geoff wilfred… I think that was it… if I’m wrong I’ll add more names later.  But it’s all Sherman’s fault that I fell XD hahahaha yep everything is your fault =P well I was thinking a hell lot and I lost balance == jeez.  hehe we went over to Nagano for lunch =]  it was um Sherman Ken Russell Julian Cat Tina June Monique and I.  Everyone else left… loool~  it was a funny day… and I kinda wish it didn’t end… =/

Wednesday March 19th 2008:

Pirates of the Caribbean marathon at Ken’s house…  I never knew it’d be like 7 hours worth of movie watching… so thank god we voted to skip the second one.  Well the girls decided anyways… xP  So the people that went eh…  Ken (duh) Sherman Jonny June Yng and I.  It was fun xD hahaha we TF2-ed a little… Jonny saw me sucky skills…. well it was my second time ok… == give me a break LOL and then there was also the whole thing where they showed me old pictures on facebook… that was fun.. June and Yng ditched me XD I was there till 8:30 no thanks to you two LOL jk I <3 You two =]  Sigh… xD

Thursday March 20th 2008:

Well… what do you know… I was stuck home again.  == Nothing to do…….. It’s kinda sad I must admit.  I wasn’t allowed anywhere because I had to go down to the States the next day…

Friday March 21st 2008:

I woke up at 5:30 to go down to the States….  We had tons of fun though XD Family shopping day hehehehe =]  We were everywhere…. LOL  Seattle Premium Outlet is amazing… I got myself a pair of DCs <3  and of course a lot of other things but those aren’t too important.  Best thing though… shopping =]  It was worth waking up so early XD it actually was…

Saturday March 22nd 2008:

Well work again… 11:30am-7pm shift… ==  it was actually not that bad HAHAHA or so I thought =P haha After that I went over to my sister’s house for her house warming party FRIENDS EDITION part 1…. lol o gosh XD We had loads of fun eating sushi and pizza… =]  I was on the phone with Sherman for almost an hour though == I never realized until my sister told me to go outside and engage in some gaming… LOL  was playing mahjong for what like… an hour?  not even… then we played that chinese dice game =]  “sik zhong”  though loser had to drink a mouthful of beer.. heineken?  I believe it was heineken… my sister told my mom I would be drinking just a little so it was alright.  I didn’t even finish my whole cup xD and we started at 10pm and I left at 12am.   =P that just shows that much I owned ass in that game HAHAHA!!

Sunday March 23rd 2008:

ok… so Happy Easter Sunday =]  Sherman and I decided to not go to drop in LOL and I went over to his house… to watch Death Note 1.  Though he was kinda screwed cause it only had simplified chinese subs and the english subs were HORRIBLE.  You finally played Kiss the Rain… I didn’t mind that your last two pages were screwed up… you still played it… I have to admit that the first two pages were absolutely amazing… I stood there with my eyes closed in case you didn’t know… cause your back WAS to me.. == I loved it… thanks =] Your parents are amazingly nice xD my parents were so awkward == but you had a bad intro with them xP hehe… then things happened lol.  那天你親了我很多, 我是沒有關係的因爲我喜歡的是你.  如果我在學校也不會親你, 對不對?  然後你還是對我很溫柔, 會問我東西. 我只是在想:  過了今天又會不會再喜歡我多一點… 甚至會有一點”愛”我呢? 如果會的話…你可不可以告訴我, 同時不要離開呢?  你是唯一一個男生我可以讓你去了其它讓步可以去的地步.  也是因爲這樣那天之後我喜歡你的level已經不一樣了.  請不要誤會我們沒有做了什麽年輕人不該做的事, 只是我沒有想過原來你跟別的男生都是一樣的.  唯一不一樣的是…我喜歡你.

Monday March 24th 2008:

I stayed home again… nothing much to do… went to the mall with my mom… got a couple of small things. 

Tuesday March 25th 2008:

Went to the mall with Camille.  Saw Nick Mui working on his first day at Coles… xD it was kinda funny… then we saw Alex Tseng… ==;  it was somewhat unexpected haha and things happened… stupid tickle me elmo joke lol

So guess what that’s it for my Spring Break… stupid right o_o;; I loved it =] 

~ Belle

March.16.2008 – Surprise Surprise March 16, 2008

9:27pm March 16th, 2008

I never thought saying some random could make you take it so seriously… I never thought you’d actually wake up at 10 just to hear me ask something really simple and stupid…  I admit that my question was random =) at least you woke up and talked to me and went to drop in. 

Do you know what I’m super amazed at?  You seem to be able to change and do everything really fast.  I wonder if you were speeding on the way down Forest Parkway o_o!  If you did I’d laugh =P  In the end everything you do surprises me… maybe it’s because I’d never expect you to be able to do so much in such a little amount of time.  And perhaps I never thought I’d be able to understand how you really think.  I know I can guess a huge part of what your thoughts consist of.  I can… I do… and I will!  It’s not like me to just give up on things, and I suppose it’s we’re both too stubborn to let go and say that we’re wrong.  That is if we’re ever wrong…  I know I like to win… and I know I hate losing, but most of all I like being who I am… And that’s who you like me for too.  In the end, that’s why I like you as well. 

Major surprise of the day… was around 3:25pm… You had to leave and I know that you have to as well which I didn’t mind.  What I didn’t expect from you was coming back, holding me slightly and a kiss on the cheek.  “o_o is this really happening?  Wow… I never expected this to happen, and definitely not today.”  That’s what came through my mind, and my first reaction was wondering if my face was really red and the next… I suppose I didn’t think twice and kissed you back on the cheek.  I never really paid attention as to why you kissed me though…  It seems like it just happened…  I really didn’t think that it would happen after the last week… but then again I like you for who you are… wait didn’t I just say that a couple of minutes ago? 

You know what else surprises me?  It’s quite funny that when I lose my balance and I pull myself back in and you touched my chest by accident.  This is definitely not something you experience everyday… It makes me laugh that you think I am extremely bothered by it.  Yes it was slightly awkward at first, but to be totally honest with you I am really really flat, so it’s more awkward for you than me.  Other than that I suppose nothing really matters to me…

Surprises are great when they’re good surprises.  Ok that just sounded so weird… == but that’s okay.  Other surprises can be slightly scary… so in the end I wonder where this will take us… =P

~ Belle

March.12.2008 – Breakdown of the Month March 14, 2008

6:37pm March 14th, 2008

Two days ago, I had the biggest breakdown I’ve had yet this year…  Why is it that everytime we talk about something so serious that I have to ask something stupid and make myself feel worse.  I know for a fact that if I have kept my mouth shut I wouldn’t have cried… 

Whether or not I’m attached to you it’s too late for me…  I’m already attached and it doesn’t matter to me anymore how much further I fall for you because I already have.  And I fell hard.  I don’t know if it’s just me or not, but I can tell, or at least sense, that as much as you like me now we’re at different levels.  We are… we always were.  Perhaps that’s the reason why my tears came down so fast and it didn’t seem to want to stop.  It’s impossible for me to have such good luck and not have it end.  Maybe that explains why you’re planning on letting go.  I was naive enough to lie to myself that maybe you won’t…  The same thoughts go through my mind everytime I start to doubt myself… “He told you to have faith in him… Stay strong just for him.  You know he won’t hurt you because he’s too nice to hurt you.  Maybe he won’t let go after another month or two.  Stop doubting yourself!  What if he doesn’t go to Toronto and stay here?  Then you’ll be stupid for worrying so much”.  All that went through my mind, and yet it still is.  It’s like its a song on repeat and I can’t stop it.  It just won’t stop replaying itself.  So what about all the times that I’ve tried so hard to keep you beside me…?   Was it just stupid for me to do something like that?  Should I have never worked for anything and just hope that things will work out?  Or is it just because I don’t want to lose?  I don’t want to lose you.  I don’t want to lose everything that I’ve worked so hard for and given up all my feelings for. 

There are obvious reasons as to why I like you, and then there are the other reasons that I can’t seem to say.  I don’t need a reason to like.  Better yet I don’t need a reason to love either.  I’m starting to actually feel like I love you.  Everything that’s going on in my life seems to revolve around you at some point.  Whether if something is just passing by you or I actually have something in my life that involves you.  You invaded my life… You broke down walls and you got to my heart in such a short period of time.  I’m one of the most insecure girls that you can find around here, and yet you seem to protect me wherever I go.  The feeling of protection is something that I’ve never really felt coming from someone similar like you.  I like that feeling; I need that feeling; I want that feeling. 

“What’s the point.. you know he won’t stay for you.  You know that you can never be important in his life.  You’re just another girl.  Maybe he’ll remember 10 years from now and think of you as his first girlfriend.  But it’s not like that’ll make a difference.” More insecure thoughts that budge their way into my brain.  Reasons for crying on wednesday…  I don’t know why I don’t want to list them.  I tried blocking out our whole convo… but it didn’t work.  It just kept coming back to me like a boomerang.  In the end you tell me not to think about it too much.  Then why the heck did you tell me that we still have three months?  I didn’t want a date you know that?  Three months from now… THAT IS A BOMB…  a bomb that will set off in three months… I don’t even want to know about the damage that it’ll create.  I really didn’t want a date… what’s the point of setting a date on a relationship? 

“You know you like him… stop overthinking things.  What’s the point in second guessing yourself?  You know you believe every word that he says.  Just listen to him and don’t think about this.  As long as you like him it doesn’t matter.  Just hope that things will get better.  You know he’ll always be around… just maybe not how you’d want him to be”  More thoughts that come back to me… all I want to say is that I won’t give up.  Never.  It’s not very Belle-like to give up. 

~ Belle