Happy 3 Months… actually no. April 19, 2008

3:44pm April 19th, 2008

April 14th… probably one of the worst days of 2008 =).  You told me things that I knew I’ve been pushing out of my mind for a very long time, yet you brought it up.  I knew for a fact that you didn’t want to feel unfaithful… somehow I knew that it was going to happen sooner or later.  I’m not saying that it wasn’t hard to believe that she likes you… I mean I could sense it when we went skating… I just never thought that it would happen and happen like this. 

You regret it… you still like me… we still want to be together… yet nothing is possible.  Sometimes I wonder why you didn’t bother asking her or myself what to do before you made your decision.  If you actually talked to us and we figured something out, you wouldn’t have to make such a rash decision, and make three people unhappy.  I know that the past couple of days we are starting to act normal and feel better about this situation.  We may seem normal, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t feel bad in the inside.  She feels like she’s the bad guy… and that she doesn’t deserve you in any way.  Even if I told her that she was really important to you and that she shouldn’t hold back on this she still feels like she doesn’t deserve any of this.  It feels really weird that two girls who like the same guy can talk to each other so nicely.  Yet we’d expect the drama type cat fights… and go all nuts towards each other.  I admit that I’ve cried… I admit that I hate your decision… I even admit that maybe if you lost me 100% you’d hold me closer.  I know I’m really weird and stupid for feeling that, but it seems that the more I lose you the more I want you closer.  You’ll always be a close part to me… you’ve made a real large impact on me.  Everything that you’ve done to me is basically burnt into my memory.  You’ve done so much to me in such a short amount of time. 

Today was supposed to be our 3 month… I was going to do spend time with you tomorrow instead, but it seems that we don’t need to anymore.  Even though you still want to hang out tomorrow… I do… deep down inside I know I want to be with you.  Even if it’s just a hug… or even if you can just hold my hands for a short period of time.  I’ll be really really happy… =/ Unlike the other times, I really feel like crying isn’t going to do much… I cried and I couldn’t stop I know tears have to come out… otherwise it’s not healthy.  Just being able to be around you will be fine..  It’s not hard to believe that you choose friendship > relationship.  But you have to admit that you must like her to a certain degree that friendship + history + feelings > relationship + feelings…  we lack history and we probably lack a lot of other things… honestly I wonder what would happen if I was in her position and she was in mine… Would you still break it off with her so you don’t lose your friendship with me?  Or do I just have extremely bad timing?  There are other questions that popped into my mind, but I really don’t want to ask them anymore. haha. == I’m a dumb ass aren’t I? 

Now that I’m too sick to do anything it’s really weird.  You want me to be get better soon, and you want to hang out with me.  We can still do a lot of things that we could do before we broke up.  The only thing is, it’s different now.  It’s just… hanging out… and not a date.  At times I don’t get why I’m still so close to you… or maybe it’s just that we still have feelings for each other that can’t be eliminated right now.  Other than that, I don’t see what else there is to say.  I’m made an impact in your life?  Really?  Do you really miss me?  It’s really hard for me to believe that sometimes.  Though I believe every word you say… and yet people tell me you’re screwing around with me haha. == I wonder why… >>;;  And I should listen to her… do what’s best for myself.  What’s best for me right now… mmhm.  That would be 1) not let things be awkward; 2) have you stay close to me; 3) let you be happy.  I hope that sounds reasonable… 

I realized that at a certain point on Wednesday I wanted to hug you really hard kiss you lightly on the cheek and just leave…  It’s really hard not to be able to hug you and hold onto you when we see each other.  I’ll get over it, that’s for sure =).  I had a small request that I haven’t told you yet… but I’ll tell you later… =P  Technically I don’t even know if you’ll ever read this or not… if you do, you’ll always be important to me, and I know you don’t want to be my brother… ==;;  Who else can you be?  If you don’t read this then I don’t have much else to say. 

Don’t forget me… okay?  And if I continue to matter to you some day… tell me?  If you still like me in a couple of months would you still tell me?  Would you tell me if you missed me?  …would you tell me anything…?

~ Belle 

State of Confusion… or not. April 8, 2008

5:04pm April 8th, 2008

So… I have been thinking over and over again… why am I doing this to myself… As you said before, is it even worth it?  Would I be better off single?  You asked me questions that I could not answer on the spot.  After thinking about it for a night, I do have answers.  Prepare to be overwhelmed…  if you’re not overwhelmed after this blog… I have failed. miserably………

First off, I don’t care anymore.  All I care about is right now and what’s going on with me and you.  You asked me several questions and this one question really made me think “who the hell do you think I am..”  You asked, “Are you happier single?/Do you always have someone to like?”  No I don’t always have someone to like… I’m perfectly fine being myself and not having to like someone.  I have feelings for you because you’re important and special to me.  If you didn’t mean anything to me I wouldn’t bother to like you.  And yes perhaps you think the words “like” and “love” is overrated and maybe yes I am one of those girls that enjoy using these words, but it doesn’t mean I over use them.  I only use them seriously to those that I feel deserve these words coming from me.  I mean to be perfectly honest with you, I don’t really care if you use those words at all or if you find these words fake.  That’s what I do when I’m expressing myself and if you don’t like it I wouldn’t take it offensively.  I just won’t.

Am I better off single?  I like being single you have freedom and you’re free to look at hot guys.  It also means that I’m free to have crushes on guys (haha).  But this is probably also the one time that I’ve really really liked being with someone.  I know you don’t give me your 100% attention because I know you’re not the guy to.  If you think breaking up with me will make me any happier I probably won’t.  Because I know I could have changed how things are going.  I’ve worked so hard and so long for things to come to this step, I don’t want things to end.  Is it really worth it for me to put in so much effort and in the end not get anything from this?  As of right now I don’t know if I’m getting anything from this because you said that your feelings haven’t developed yet.  And yet you said you liked me more… does that mean you lied to me, or did you mean that your feelings haven’t developed fully yet?  I really don’t know anymore.  I truly wonder what’s going on…  If you break things off with me now, yes I will be upset, and no I won’t be able to act normal around you.  I will be really upset around you because I know that seeing you will bring back happy and sad memories. 

A question that I want to ask you… do I have absolutely no affect on your life that even if one day we break up you won’t have any feelings attached?  Not even for a day? or a week?  I really want to know the answer to that… and hearing that you’ll be normal after we break up is already hurtful enough.  Perhaps I don’t have what it takes to make an impact in your life.  Then I hope someone else will.  All I can do is give you a taste of what having a girlfriend is like.  I know for a fact that I am not the one for you… probably not.  It doesn’t mean I can’t try… I am trying hard to hold onto you for as long as I can… and then again I don’t know how much damage this will do to me… or you if it’ll even hurt you a bit in any way…  I highly doubt that I’ll be a problem to you… 

Sometimes I truly wonder why you never think about yourself when you’re wondering about these kinds of things… is it because you know you don’t “like” me enough to think that you need to be a factor in this relationship or is it because you just care about me too much.  The ways you describe our relationship it doesn’t sound any different as your close female relationships with Cat… besides the fact that I’m your girlfriend, we hold hands, we hug a lot, and we kiss…  Other than that I don’t see any difference… I truly don’t.  And from what other people are seeing and telling me which I must say is hard to not agree with, you two sometimes seem more like a couple than we do… It’s not that I don’t mind or whatever, you two are close friends, I can’t do anything about that… it’s just like me and my guy friends.  That’s why I don’t say anything about it… but when numerous people come up to you and say it over and over again to your face, then it starts to get a little annoying and out of hand.  I don’t want to doubt you, I have NEVER doubted you… but why does everything have to happen now.  People are telling me that this isn’t worth it, and that if I stop now I won’t get hurt as much.  But I’ve put so much into this.. is it also worth it to just let go right now? 

It’s been 2.5 months since we’ve been together… probably around 80 days?  It’s been something that I never would have experienced without you… or in a totally different way if it wasn’t you.  I honestly wonder if this will even be important enough for you to remember…  I know that I’ll always be close to you and that we’ll always talk even if you’re off to university.  But what if you start to avoid me… like today?  I feel like we were so distant everyone was like “what’s up with him?”  It doesn’t feel that great to have your friends call the person you like a jerk.  You are not a jerk.  You will never be a jerk.  I just wish you would add yourself as a factor… would YOU be happier if YOU were single?  Put yourself into the question instead of me…

I don’t know what your decision will be… I’ve seen long distance work and fail… it’s all in your hands now… I won’t end things… unless I am forced to, which I hope I’m not…  Until that time I won’t think about it because I know that in the end you will always be a special someone in my life and I’ll always remember you as someone special.  Or maybe I like you so much I don’t care if I get hurt… now that’s scary.  Or perhaps I just don’t understand what I want yet… Actually I lied, I do… so you’ll just have to deal with what I want… while still being able to get what you want.  If you have to hurt me… then hurt me.  To be honest with you… I’m not confused anymore.  I don’t care anymore… I don’t want you to avoid me or anything.  From now on all I want is for you to be happy and if that means you don’t want me around… I’m fine with that.  As long as I’m still a close friend to you I’m grateful for that.  Just never forget me.  Ok?  As for now… I’ll continue to be the girlfriend that I always worked hard to be. 

~ Belle

March.12.2008 – Breakdown of the Month March 14, 2008

6:37pm March 14th, 2008

Two days ago, I had the biggest breakdown I’ve had yet this year…  Why is it that everytime we talk about something so serious that I have to ask something stupid and make myself feel worse.  I know for a fact that if I have kept my mouth shut I wouldn’t have cried… 

Whether or not I’m attached to you it’s too late for me…  I’m already attached and it doesn’t matter to me anymore how much further I fall for you because I already have.  And I fell hard.  I don’t know if it’s just me or not, but I can tell, or at least sense, that as much as you like me now we’re at different levels.  We are… we always were.  Perhaps that’s the reason why my tears came down so fast and it didn’t seem to want to stop.  It’s impossible for me to have such good luck and not have it end.  Maybe that explains why you’re planning on letting go.  I was naive enough to lie to myself that maybe you won’t…  The same thoughts go through my mind everytime I start to doubt myself… “He told you to have faith in him… Stay strong just for him.  You know he won’t hurt you because he’s too nice to hurt you.  Maybe he won’t let go after another month or two.  Stop doubting yourself!  What if he doesn’t go to Toronto and stay here?  Then you’ll be stupid for worrying so much”.  All that went through my mind, and yet it still is.  It’s like its a song on repeat and I can’t stop it.  It just won’t stop replaying itself.  So what about all the times that I’ve tried so hard to keep you beside me…?   Was it just stupid for me to do something like that?  Should I have never worked for anything and just hope that things will work out?  Or is it just because I don’t want to lose?  I don’t want to lose you.  I don’t want to lose everything that I’ve worked so hard for and given up all my feelings for. 

There are obvious reasons as to why I like you, and then there are the other reasons that I can’t seem to say.  I don’t need a reason to like.  Better yet I don’t need a reason to love either.  I’m starting to actually feel like I love you.  Everything that’s going on in my life seems to revolve around you at some point.  Whether if something is just passing by you or I actually have something in my life that involves you.  You invaded my life… You broke down walls and you got to my heart in such a short period of time.  I’m one of the most insecure girls that you can find around here, and yet you seem to protect me wherever I go.  The feeling of protection is something that I’ve never really felt coming from someone similar like you.  I like that feeling; I need that feeling; I want that feeling. 

“What’s the point.. you know he won’t stay for you.  You know that you can never be important in his life.  You’re just another girl.  Maybe he’ll remember 10 years from now and think of you as his first girlfriend.  But it’s not like that’ll make a difference.” More insecure thoughts that budge their way into my brain.  Reasons for crying on wednesday…  I don’t know why I don’t want to list them.  I tried blocking out our whole convo… but it didn’t work.  It just kept coming back to me like a boomerang.  In the end you tell me not to think about it too much.  Then why the heck did you tell me that we still have three months?  I didn’t want a date you know that?  Three months from now… THAT IS A BOMB…  a bomb that will set off in three months… I don’t even want to know about the damage that it’ll create.  I really didn’t want a date… what’s the point of setting a date on a relationship? 

“You know you like him… stop overthinking things.  What’s the point in second guessing yourself?  You know you believe every word that he says.  Just listen to him and don’t think about this.  As long as you like him it doesn’t matter.  Just hope that things will get better.  You know he’ll always be around… just maybe not how you’d want him to be”  More thoughts that come back to me… all I want to say is that I won’t give up.  Never.  It’s not very Belle-like to give up. 

~ Belle

情人節快樂<3 February 15, 2008

9:35am February 15th, 2008

情人節快樂!  今年我的情人節過得非常開心, 因爲從早上開始就已經很甜蜜了.  昨天早上我要上體育課, 而我出來的時候我一看他就在我面前.  他拿著一枝rose要送給我.  我的同學也要看到, 讓我覺得很幸福也很尷尬.  原因是我的同學就算有男朋友都沒有收到花.  Camille跟我一樣有收到rose.  因爲我的好朋友昨天開始跟Curtis在一起啦!  我為Camille覺得非常開心.  我希望他們兩個會永遠開心愛下去.  而我呢?  昨天的我非常開心.  我笑出來的時候讓人覺得很可笑, 因爲當我真心地笑出來我會忘記我身旁的人會看到我傻笑的樣子.  可是我要跟你說一聲, 你是第一個男生送花給我.  而你跟我說,我是你的一個送花的女生.  這句話讓我覺得我們兩個擁有對方的很多第一次.  須讓你不會是我的初吻, 可是如果我們真的會的話, 我會是你的初吻.  你也是第一個男生會把我擁抱得這麽緊, 讓後跟我說一聲: “我不會放手的, 永遠都不會, 特別是今天” .  你說完之後我真的很想跟你說聲: “我愛你”.  可是我不想是因爲情人節才跟你說這一句話.  你等一下, 等到我們交往一個月的時候, 或許我會有勇氣跟你說一聲吧.  昨天呢id920有一個特別的節目, 而我幫了Rey寫了一些比較感人的短文. 那我希望聽到我寫的東西的聽衆會喜歡我寫的東西把. 因爲呢我是從心底寫下每一句的.  老實說我覺得Rey是跟我開玩笑的.  我有什麽能力成爲id920的inspiration呢?  可是我也看到chatroom裏面有很多人喜歡我寫的東西, 所以我要跟你們說一聲: “謝謝你們!”  如果沒有我昨天的經歷我可能寫不出我寫過的東西啦.  我跟你們分享一下我昨天寫過的一些東西吧.  下面是我寫的短文, 而我昨天寫的quote就不能分享了. 對不起~

For those that are single and not crushing.  Valentine’s Day isn’t all about love.  It’s also a time to spend time with the family and friends that you appreciate so much and never had the spare moment to tell them how much they mean to you in your life.  Place a couple hours aside and eat a nice dinner with your parents and siblings.  Or go out for a heart warming movie with your best friends and laugh your heart out.  Be a kid again and give them a Valentine’s Day card, or mouth watering chocolates.  Being single doesn’t mean you need to be discouraged by all the other couples walking out on the streets.  It’s better to be single than being in a relationship that you might not even want to be in.  Just be true to your feelings and that’s all you need. 
 
For those that have a crush on someone.  Today is Valentine’s Day for a reason.  It gives you a chance to use all the courage you saved up to tell the person you like that you like them.  Missing out on this one chance can result in not getting another chance in the future.  The innumerable hours you spent thinking about them.  Their smile brightens up your day; their laugh makes your heart skip a beat; their tears make you worry about them day and night.  Use February 14th as a day to take a risk, no a chance, a chance to change something in your life.  To the people listening, you may think that I am just saying it and it is easier said than done.  However, you may be suprirsed.  I took a chance, but not on Valentine’s Day, but regardless I took a chance.  In the end, the results were better than I thought.  Instead of a sad ending, I got my happy ending.  So take a chance, you may be surprised by the affects your words can have on someone.  Someone special.
 
For those that are currently in love.  Today is a special day that we get to spend quality time with someone we share deep feelings with.  We put aside our arguments, our disagreements, and most of all we only think about why we are in love each other.  The sweet atmosphere with young couples exchanging gifts; the steady couples sharing a dinner; or a just married couple cuddling up at home watching their favourite movie.  Nothing matters.  Materials don’t create the atmosphere, it’s the time spent together that makes the day so much more special.  Everyday spent with the person you truly care about is considered Valentine’s Day.  Now we have a day, an excuse, to drop whatever we’re doing to actually BE with that person.  We shouldn’t even use the word excuse, it’s a reason, a need, a drug… Love is a drug… so addicting, it’s absolutely amazing.  The only thing that’s different, is that love can’t kill you.  It allows you to live on with your life, with your other half.
 
For everyone listening to CBC gwun, wai wai, and NEZ!  Happy Valentine’s Day =3  Love, Belle0903 <3

我希望你們會喜歡我寫的東西吧!

~ Belle

十日後的我們 February 1, 2008

9:39am February 1st, 2008

昨天可能是我們兩個不會猜得到的日子.  我媽咪居然讓我在雪地裏跟一個朋友出去走走.  而你, 考完試之後跟我談十日前的話題.  你跟我說你覺得現在的關係很好, 你不想有什麽改變.  除非我不想再跟你在一起. 我聽到的時候覺得很奇怪因爲我不覺得你是一個會講這些的人, 可是我錯了!  你會好想人家的男朋友一樣會說一些我們想聼的話. 然後牽著我的手, 但是在那一刻我不知道我是不是在做夢, 如果是的話我真的不想醒過來. 你看到我的顧慮, 卻跟我說那你先把你的手放進袋子裏然後再看看我的話是不是真的. 我們回到我家的路時你又一次牽著我的手, 這一次是真實的! 因爲我感覺得到你給我的溫暖.  可是這個時候我爸爸回家了! 哈哈你看到我爸爸肯定覺得有一點尷尬.  因爲我有阿所以我覺得你也會覺得尷尬咯.  可是這已經不是我要擔心的事情了.  因爲我喜歡的是你, 我不會感覺到有什麽不可以的. 只要我們之間的信任還在那我不會在意咯. 聽到你跟我說的話在我腦海裏面重復一百次, 我覺得我之前擔心得太多了.

~ Belle 

♥ Jan.19.08 January 20, 2008

9:29am January, 20th, 2008

 WAKAKAKAKAKA HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDDYYYYY~  I love you ^^♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Kay… on the other hand… Jan.19.08 = ….amazingly…the best day of 2008 and perhaps one of the better days of my entire life… teehee ♥  so… first of all, Darrell finally drove me in his CAR!!!!!!! oh my gosh… I actually survived… =P just kidding… XD hahahahahahaha it’s ok gor gor i was jk u were a good driver… and thank gosh ur mom was there LOL~ then…. we saw TIVONA omg ♥  haven’t seen u forever >.<;; kay then we went to future shop… I GOT A NEW COMPUTER OMG OMG OMG HAHAHAHAHAHA but then… can’t use it till everything is installed… *sigh* so… i’m not using it till……. uhm…. exam week?? LOL kay well then…. someone silly walked to my house to give me bbtea ♥  hehehe =) thanks hehe but I couldn’t eat dinner after that… ><;; too full hahaha xD anyways… at night… had a minor… to moderate break down… can’t believe I cried… =/ sorry if I scared u… >.<;; but then…. u were being honest with me… thanks ♥  and now… we’re trying hard… very hard………… (well I am… even though I don’t have to but I will) ♥  haha anyways… x_x;; I hope… that everything will be amazing… =) anyways, hehe… and I spent the whole night not being able to sleep… *yawn*… x_x

~ Belle

說了出來… January 11, 2008

8:27pm January 11th, 2007

其實我沒有想過我會告訴你的，但是講完我覺得舒服很多。 我想是因爲我很久都沒有跟你坦白過。我現在覺得好多了！對了，我不是喜歡你了兩個月。我兩個月前對你有一點感覺，然後呢一個月前的今天，我真的喜歡上你了。這樣你明白了？你跟我說你不會躲我的， 你要説話算話哦！我真的有點想哭的，可是我不會因爲沒什麽好哭的。你還是我的朋友；你還是我的同學；你還是我可以信賴的人。我一定會永遠記住你這個朋友。我沒有想過你會爲了我而改變，所以你不用擔心。我知道你不喜歡我啦，你不用跟我說。我只是不想有什麽遺憾而已。跟你說了之後我覺得我沒有什麽好怕了。因該是你讓我勇敢起來，也有可能是因爲我真的長大了。

~ Belle 

非你莫屬… December 28, 2007

7:16pm  December 28th, 2007 

我想…我已經喜歡你一個多月啦.  可是, 你有沒有想過你爲甚麽不會喜歡我呢?  這個問題我真的不想問你… 也有可能是因爲我不想我跟你的關係有甚麽改變.  我不開心的時候, 我會問你這一個問題: “你可以讓我笑嗎?  如果不可以就算啦…”.  而你會告訴我: “很有難度!! 應該沒有可能啦!” 我會很失望, 但是你會在我失望中給我一點安慰.  你會講一些很傻的東西, 而這些很傻的東西會讓我笑得很大聲.  你會笑我說: “你很傻! 這樣也笑得下去!”  可是你不知道, 我很喜歡你跟我聊天的時間.  很多人都會告訴我, 說甚麽: “不要再喜歡他啦.  他跟你都不配!” 也有很多人跟我說: “你應該告訴他, 你一天不告訴他, 他一天都不會知道你對他有感覺!”  我很想跟你講我喜歡你… 可是如果你不喜歡我, 我們兩個會很尷尬!!!  我不想你難做人… 也不想我沒有勇氣再做你的傻妹… 你應該還沒猜到我叫你做傻仔哦?  你也應該不知道我的朋友買了一條手鏈給我… 這條手鏈上面有你英文名字的頭一個字.  我想這條手鏈是我唯一可以記得你的東西.  你已經講得很清楚… 我想應該是太太太太清楚啦………….. 你這一輩子都有可能不喜歡我… 可是你也沒有可能那麽確定吧.  你這樣講話會讓我很難受的! 你可能是開玩笑而已, 但是我不是這樣子想的!  我不想你再跟我開玩笑, 也不想你再一時對我非常好, 一時對我很冷淡.  你為甚麽要這個樣子對我呢? 你覺得很好玩嗎? 還是你覺得我在玩你?  如果是的話, 我沒有! 我沒有! 我沒有! 我真的沒有耍你!  我是真的喜歡你… 可是你不會相信我的啦.  也是因爲這個問題, 我喜歡你的事情會永遠留在我心底裏.  我不知道我甚麽時候不會再喜歡你. 老實説哦, 我很久沒有這種感覺啦. 這種看不到你, 我的心會很痛, 痛得像快死的樣子; 看到你, 我的心會跳得很快, 快得好想會跳出來一樣.  我是不是很傻?  那麽喜歡你… 那麽想你把你的時間放在我身上.  我真的很傻… 傻到我不想再講下去.  也有可能是因爲我不想放開你.  你對我就好像一個大哥哥會對一個小妹妹一樣.  而這個小妹妹會愛上這個大哥哥.  有一些快樂的結局會讓那個大哥哥愛上小妹妹.  我的生命會一樣快樂嗎?  傻仔, 不, 我應該說大哥哥, 你會做我的白馬王子嗎?  還是白馬王子是假的?  他們只會在童話故事裏生存.  在這樣的世界裏我應該不會遇到的啦.  就算我把你當成是, 也沒有可能啦.  因爲你不會接受做這個小妹妹的大哥哥啦.  大哥哥… 不! 讓我再叫你多一次傻仔吧!  這一輩子, 你都會是我的傻仔和大哥哥… 這樣可以嗎?  我寫了這麽久都沒有說過:  我喜歡你, 這一輩子我心裏都會有一個位子留給你.  因爲那個位子已經有你的名字刻上去啦…  我問你最後兩個問題: “你會喜歡我嗎?” 和 “這一輩子, 你都會記得我嗎?”.  只要這兩個問題你有一個是說: “會” 我就很開心啦.  可是在你沒有說: “會” 的時候, 我只好安靜等待和安靜去喜歡你囉.  我講最後一次, 任何人都不可以說我喜歡錯人.  我喜歡你, 這是不能改變的事實. 

~ Belle

Broken Bonds </3 September 29, 2007

9:01pm September 29th, 2007

The mark on our hands burn of a dark red,

It pulls us close until the end;

Finding it difficult to sleep on a bed,

Perhaps our love just could not bend.

 

Until at last the bond has broken,

A split road stands before us;

Saying good byes our hearts are broken,

Maybe we lied, oh just because.

 

Whatever broke us we may never know,

Thinking it through it just does not seem right;

The truth just never glows,

A future you say, it is just not bright.

 

Hardships and tears,

Perhaps we are too naive;

To understand it, it must be clear,

We broke apart like a crunchy leaf.

 

Broken hearts, blood drip and drop,

Clogged up throats it does not seem to stop;

Till the moment the whistle blows,

Everything will be buried below.

~Belle

Our Dying Love… September 27, 2007

8:35pm September 27, 2007

It seems like it was just yesterday,

When you told me that everything would be fine;

That everything I saw today,

Would also be mine. 

Our love seems so far away,

Like it drifted off to hide some place;

You held my hand then walked away,

The warmth around me is distracted into a maze. 

Perhaps it was just the way it’s so blurry,

That I hesitate to make that first step;

Perhaps that day appeared too cloudy,

That I pondered on the kiss we kept. 

A burnt mark lies on my skin,

To remind me of whom you are;

Watching you toss memories into a locked bin,

Yet the wind blows softly into one’s heart. 

Tear-filled eyes watch as the sun set,

Hoping the broken pieces will mend itself;

Until that moment meets the bet,

Lonely and weary sitting by myself. 

A mistake they say to fall in love,

With someone passionate and to die for;

Perhaps it was just puppy love,

But knowing you it will never be a bore. 

Break ups and making up relies on each other,

It is a cycle the old ones says;

Unless the connection mends or it will not bother,

Staying single may just be the best.

~Belle