So… I’m totally messed up in the brain right now. You make everything seem so wonderful, and the next day it all goes down the drain. What is going on? You have lots on your mind, I understand that. But if you need time to figure it out I can give you time. But you SUCK at making things seem like nothing’s wrong. It seems like EVERYTHING is wrong right now. I feel extremely exhausted right now. I’m tired of guessing. I’ll just try to get past this stage and wait for you to tell me what is going on in your confused STRESSED OUT mind. I feel like you’re doing this to make me give up. I don’t want to, and I won’t. End of story.
鬥牛, 要不要 April 3, 2008
4:21pm April 2nd, 2008
I really enjoy watching 鬥牛, 要不要… Mike and Hebe has chemistry that no one else has been able to top…yet. I found quotes from a site… it’s beautiful…<3
最幸福的人,
往往是擁有最多選擇的人，
離開你最後一刻，
我有很多選擇，
選擇靜靜地看著你，
但是也只能靜靜地看著你，
選擇讓兩個人，
有著最心動的距離，
但是，也只能隔著一寸空氣，
選擇對你誠實，
卻又怕誠實會破壞你的笑容，
原來我根本沒得選，
只能在離開的最後讓你記得，
我曾經為你努力過．
The people who are blessed,
are usually the ones with the most choices，
the moment you leave，
I have lots of choices，
choosing to silently watch you leave，
meaning I can only watch you silently，
choosing to allow two people，
have the most heart throbbing distance，
but only separating us by an inch of air，
choosing to be honest with you，
yet afraid the honesty will destroy your smile，
apparently I can’t choose at all,
when I leave I just want you to remember，
that I worked hard just for you.
~ Belle
Spring Break Recap~ March 29, 2008
10:18am March 29th, 2008
So… guess what? Spring Break is gone ==… freaking I HATE THAT SO MUCH. I loved my spring break this year and I wasn’t ready for it to be over. Sheesh >>;; So lets do a small Spring Break recap so I don’t forget everything that happened this spring break!! Though I must admit I did do a lot… but I could have done way more… =/
Saturday March 15th 2008:
As always I had to work… 2-7pm shift… it wasn’t bad. Then I went over to my sister’s new apartment for her housewarming party with family. Hot pot… was good =] We went over to their clubhouse afterwards to play badminton and basketball… it was FUNNNNNNNNNN =] (yes there was a pool table Sherman… I don’t know why I’m writing this but I figure you’d be reading this one day LOL).
Sunday March 16th 2008:
I believe there was already a blog about this day underneath. You woke up early for me… and we went to drop in together =] Alongside with a couple of other people.. duh 
Cutest part was you kissed me on the cheek… I don’t think I’ll forget that =P
Monday March 17th 2008:
I stayed home that day… baking sugar cookies with my mom. I believe that was about it… I didn’t have much to do and I was completely out of it when it came so close to skating == I WANTED TO GET OUT OF THE FLIPPING HOUSE!! You have to admit that it’s boring when you have got nothing to entertain yourself with… haha ok yeah not funny ==
Tuesday March 18th 2008:
Oh my gosh. Skating finally came! Sherman drove me down to the rink =] It was freaking hailing too…. and you were speeding down the mountain == We had loads of fun though =] Best part was skating with everyone. Lets see who was there… girls: susan june megan monique tina cat and I. Guys: sherman ken calvin julian russell john geoff wilfred… I think that was it… if I’m wrong I’ll add more names later. But it’s all Sherman’s fault that I fell XD hahahaha yep everything is your fault =P well I was thinking a hell lot and I lost balance == jeez. hehe we went over to Nagano for lunch =] it was um Sherman Ken Russell Julian Cat Tina June Monique and I. Everyone else left… loool~ it was a funny day… and I kinda wish it didn’t end… =/
Wednesday March 19th 2008:
Pirates of the Caribbean marathon at Ken’s house… I never knew it’d be like 7 hours worth of movie watching… so thank god we voted to skip the second one. Well the girls decided anyways… xP So the people that went eh… Ken (duh) Sherman Jonny June Yng and I. It was fun xD hahaha we TF2-ed a little… Jonny saw me sucky skills…. well it was my second time ok… == give me a break LOL and then there was also the whole thing where they showed me old pictures on facebook… that was fun.. June and Yng ditched me XD I was there till 8:30 no thanks to you two LOL jk I <3 You two =] Sigh… xD
Thursday March 20th 2008:
Well… what do you know… I was stuck home again. == Nothing to do…….. It’s kinda sad I must admit. I wasn’t allowed anywhere because I had to go down to the States the next day…
Friday March 21st 2008:
I woke up at 5:30 to go down to the States…. We had tons of fun though XD Family shopping day hehehehe =] We were everywhere…. LOL Seattle Premium Outlet is amazing… I got myself a pair of DCs <3 and of course a lot of other things but those aren’t too important. Best thing though… shopping =] It was worth waking up so early XD it actually was…
Saturday March 22nd 2008:
Well work again… 11:30am-7pm shift… == it was actually not that bad HAHAHA or so I thought =P haha After that I went over to my sister’s house for her house warming party FRIENDS EDITION part 1…. lol o gosh XD We had loads of fun eating sushi and pizza… =] I was on the phone with Sherman for almost an hour though == I never realized until my sister told me to go outside and engage in some gaming… LOL was playing mahjong for what like… an hour? not even… then we played that chinese dice game =] “sik zhong” though loser had to drink a mouthful of beer.. heineken? I believe it was heineken… my sister told my mom I would be drinking just a little so it was alright. I didn’t even finish my whole cup xD and we started at 10pm and I left at 12am. =P that just shows that much I owned ass in that game HAHAHA!!
Sunday March 23rd 2008:
ok… so Happy Easter Sunday =] Sherman and I decided to not go to drop in LOL and I went over to his house… to watch Death Note 1. Though he was kinda screwed cause it only had simplified chinese subs and the english subs were HORRIBLE. You finally played Kiss the Rain… I didn’t mind that your last two pages were screwed up… you still played it… I have to admit that the first two pages were absolutely amazing… I stood there with my eyes closed in case you didn’t know… cause your back WAS to me.. == I loved it… thanks =] Your parents are amazingly nice xD my parents were so awkward == but you had a bad intro with them xP hehe… then things happened lol. 那天你親了我很多, 我是沒有關係的因爲我喜歡的是你. 如果我在學校也不會親你, 對不對? 然後你還是對我很溫柔, 會問我東西. 我只是在想: 過了今天又會不會再喜歡我多一點… 甚至會有一點”愛”我呢? 如果會的話…你可不可以告訴我, 同時不要離開呢? 你是唯一一個男生我可以讓你去了其它讓步可以去的地步. 也是因爲這樣那天之後我喜歡你的level已經不一樣了. 請不要誤會我們沒有做了什麽年輕人不該做的事, 只是我沒有想過原來你跟別的男生都是一樣的. 唯一不一樣的是…我喜歡你.
Monday March 24th 2008:
I stayed home again… nothing much to do… went to the mall with my mom… got a couple of small things.
Tuesday March 25th 2008:
Went to the mall with Camille. Saw Nick Mui working on his first day at Coles… xD it was kinda funny… then we saw Alex Tseng… ==; it was somewhat unexpected haha and things happened… stupid tickle me elmo joke lol
So guess what that’s it for my Spring Break… stupid right o_o;; I loved it =]
~ Belle
March.16.2008 – Surprise Surprise March 16, 2008
9:27pm March 16th, 2008
I never thought saying some random could make you take it so seriously… I never thought you’d actually wake up at 10 just to hear me ask something really simple and stupid… I admit that my question was random =) at least you woke up and talked to me and went to drop in.
Do you know what I’m super amazed at? You seem to be able to change and do everything really fast. I wonder if you were speeding on the way down Forest Parkway o_o! If you did I’d laugh =P In the end everything you do surprises me… maybe it’s because I’d never expect you to be able to do so much in such a little amount of time. And perhaps I never thought I’d be able to understand how you really think. I know I can guess a huge part of what your thoughts consist of. I can… I do… and I will! It’s not like me to just give up on things, and I suppose it’s we’re both too stubborn to let go and say that we’re wrong. That is if we’re ever wrong… I know I like to win… and I know I hate losing, but most of all I like being who I am… And that’s who you like me for too. In the end, that’s why I like you as well.
Major surprise of the day… was around 3:25pm… You had to leave and I know that you have to as well which I didn’t mind. What I didn’t expect from you was coming back, holding me slightly and a kiss on the cheek. “o_o is this really happening? Wow… I never expected this to happen, and definitely not today.” That’s what came through my mind, and my first reaction was wondering if my face was really red and the next… I suppose I didn’t think twice and kissed you back on the cheek. I never really paid attention as to why you kissed me though… It seems like it just happened… I really didn’t think that it would happen after the last week… but then again I like you for who you are… wait didn’t I just say that a couple of minutes ago?
You know what else surprises me? It’s quite funny that when I lose my balance and I pull myself back in and you touched my chest by accident. This is definitely not something you experience everyday… It makes me laugh that you think I am extremely bothered by it. Yes it was slightly awkward at first, but to be totally honest with you I am really really flat, so it’s more awkward for you than me. Other than that I suppose nothing really matters to me…
Surprises are great when they’re good surprises. Ok that just sounded so weird… == but that’s okay. Other surprises can be slightly scary… so in the end I wonder where this will take us… =P
~ Belle
零八年！ January 9, 2008
9:28pm January 9th, 2008
My lovely dears~ it’s 2008 already!! As of yesterday there’s only 7 months left until my sister’s wedding ^^ Her perfect day that she’s been waiting for for like… a year or so now!! I can’t wait until it’s summer because it means I get to take part in something so fun and beautiful. Marriage is something in nature that many people take part in in their lives. Some people may find it deceiving and a big joke; but others find it a magical thing that we can not help but put ourselves through.
I have several new year resolutions!!
-
reach my weight goal =)
-
survive my English provincial in three weeks
-
tell someone that I like him… -
participate and contribute to my sister’s wedding
-
get my L in september
-
have an awesome sweet 16 <3
-
get a new job (prefer clothing store…gosh)
-
never cry over someone stupid again
so my resolutions aren’t THAT hard… I mean, they’re quite simple =) anyways…
我的寶貝們！你們今年的新年好玩嗎？ 記得要開開心心哦！我累啦晚點再説吧。
~ Belle
煩上加煩 </3 December 16, 2007
4:44pm December 16th, 2007
你還記得我哭的那一天嗎? 由你不出聲音的方法告訴我:”不要再哭,不要為這種人哭”, 我已經感覺到不應該感覺的東西. 或許很多人都覺得我很傻, 可是他們不是我, 所以沒有人可以感受得到. 你跟我說過我不知道你甚麽時候跟我開玩笑, 那麽…你又知不知道你說的每一件事我都記在心理? 終有一天, 你會知道所有的事; 也有可能, 我不會告訴你任何東西. 到最後我有一個很大的問題… 如果你已經知道, 你為甚麽還要對我那麽好呢? 你爲甚麽不離我遠一點呢? 你給我的所有錯覺; 你給我的笑容… 難道, 沒有一樣是我可以相信的嗎? 如果我問你 [那] 個問題, 你會回答我:”我還以爲你不會跟我講” 還是 “對不起…”?
~Belle
Silly Jokes and Laughter November 10, 2007
9:48 pm November 10th, 2007
So… yesterday was interesting LOL… xD so….. I arrived at Pinetree first >>;; stupid Ben gor gor you were supposed to be there BEFORE me… =P and then Lucy got there… poor you, you have a fever… dont worry you’ll be fine =] then June gets here and then Ben finally got here… Stephen Eugene Daniele Sergio Billy Angel, etc LOL arrives soon after that… waiting to get into drop in was hilarious… apparently me june eugene stephen daniele and sergio are now the “vancouver gang from the left pole” LOL haha stupid rules… stay behind da poles or u dont get in… WAT THE HELL lol xD hahaha omg that was funni… and all those jokes and stories about mandarin class and their spring break trip to China with Dr. Tang XD haha i find that extremely entertaining… but then THANKS BEN for getting me bbt… although i so did not expect you to buy me one…. and I apologize for not holding it myself ROFL u had to keep feeding me… == stephen called me a baby GOD LOL and june called me cute… ur cuter junie =P btw LOL i still dont know how to determine who’s brandon and who’s alex…. they need a name tag ROFL btw… thanks to Daniele… i can do a much better back hand now… >w< thanksssss!!
so……. quite a bit of people knows wat is going on…. perhaps it’s best its going on now than later.. and i honestly hope that things end soon cos rite now i need to focus on school badminton and work there’s no time for drama… or tears or watever i honestly need time to think things through although most of it is already sorted out… i dont need time to calm down cos seriously i wasn’t even over reacting in the first place… =_=” i just need time to regain sme of my confidence and space and continue on living my life… right?
btw shopping in Seattle is fun XD converse…….<33
~Belle
Happy and Sad Tears October 12, 2007
9:28pm October 12th, 2007
Ok so… as of yesterday I am not single LOL and I am absolutely happy with everything right now. See I don’t get why people are shocked… ok fine I sorta do but it’s not that big of a deal ok? It’s just Russell, can’t I like him? Gosh… >>;; Anyways… just two more days until you come back from Utah and I’ll be really really happy =) Haha I’ll be smiling so much on Monday… Jen’s Sweet 16 + everything else… xD Sometimes I wish time could go by just a little faster when I wanted it to. But life doesn’t work the way we want it otherwise why would we even go through our life… right? Okay I don’t think I’m making sense but that’s ok…
You’re telling me that you’re probably leaving for Utah to go to university next year. For me that’s horrible news… I mean I know you’ll have such an awesome future and better education in that university but… that was hard news on me… It was like as if half my world came falling down on me for no reason. I want to spend quality amounts of time with you now… Because a year goes by QUITE fast… I don’t wanna look and regret that I didn’t spend enough time with you… I really don’t wanna see you leave and have me get all “Oh my gosh I’m so stupid” kinda stuff… I mean you are graudating this year and I’m not so I can’t do anything about that… >.< I hope this year will go slowly but with happy memories created <3 I do truly love you… <3
OKAY smexie family is apparently broken? I honestly wish you never appeared in my life…. Yes you made my life more interesting but I absolutely hate you now… I do not care about you anymore… I’m sorry but you really hurt me… EVERY part of me has a scar on it… written with GOR GOR all over it… and it hurts ok? I will probably forgive you some random day… in the far future but this is one thing that I’ll probably either forget with happiness because my brain doesn’t want to remember you or because I’m mentally disabled >>; How many times have you let me down… How many times have you made me cry? How many times have I told you I will never hate you because you’re my “brother”… You could NEVER get on my last nerve… but you did you cut off ALL MY NERVES and ruined the last one… and I WILL go bizarre if you get on my last nerve… I’m sorry I made you cry… but at least now you know how hurt I am if you even think about it. Don’t you remember me telling you about how if I slap you and not cry… it’s the worst thing that could ever happen… this is the second or third time I’ve brought this up… I’m writing this without feeling a single pain in my heart… without crying a single tear… that shows you how much this is affecting me… Trust and honesty doesn’t exist between us anymore… You’ll never ever be my gor gor again… You just can’t… no matter what happens… If it ever did happen… I probably had a memory loss… But for now… You’re Alex and I’m Belinda… the only connection we have… You are Tivona’s boyfriend and Tivona is my “sis” that’s it… no more no less…
~Belle
Love Struck… October 10, 2007
7:43pm October 10th, 2007
So… here I am struck by love again. Some of you guys might ask, well who is it? Can’t tell you yet… The thing is, you’re so nice, considerate, humourous, cute (yes you are!), huggable (yes I need to hug you on monday) and whenever I feel a lot of pressure, you make it all disappear. I don’t think I’ve felt this for a long time… The whole “oh my gosh, I’m so happy right now nothing can ever ruin my mood”… I’ve felt this feeling…. once at most twice before. That’s it. And considering the times that I’ve had a crush or “liked” someone…. oh my gosh I’m falling hard this time…. harder by the minute…. And just as I’m falling hard… you’re not here for 5 days… I wish you were here. It was a hard day to get through without you here. I mean it would have been so much easier on me if I knew I was gonna see you at flex or lunch that it would make me feel so much happier. And you said that I’d better be happy and smiling otherwise you’d be sad. I don’t want you to be sad… NEVER!! Do you hear me?? Actually I don’t even know if you’ll read this or not… ==” mmhm… maybe I should tell you to read this….. MMMMMMM oh my gosh I hate thinking about this…. ==” Sigh… 4 days before you’re back… Surviving one day was bad enough… now I gotta AHHHHH my brain is going to explode soon… >< I MISS YOU T~T i love you too… *major blushing…* Actually there’s an interesting question that I thought of… Why do I like you… oh my goshie xD that question was scary it just popped out of NO WHERE at me… == Lets answer that question =DDD
Why do I <3 You… You know how I’m always studying and doing homework… or stressing out?? It’s horrible being around other people that are stressing out too because of studying *cough JUNE cough* haha just kidding June =P haha but anyways… it adds to my stress and usually I freak out… But after talking to you it’s like nothing is wrong… and I feel motivated to actually study again. It’s just so weird how things happen… I never thought I’d like you, to tell the truth. Since we never really talked last year and then all of a sudden we started talking this year… It was like whoa hahaha xD… I guess it’s just you really brought me out of my “shell”… I admit that I can get quite shy… regardless of how random and hyper I can get… It’s just different when I’m around people I like… And you… you make me have butterflies in my stomach… Remember how you couldn’t tell me the truth yet and just told me a name? Those butterflies just died on me and I felt… really weird… Then the next day at school it was just like… oh my gosh awkward… I don’t like seeing this…. ><’”"”" It was probably one of the worst feelings that I’ve ever felt….=( Then you told me the truth… and those butterflies came back, but this time it wasn’t bothering me… It was making me happy and I could smile again =). I wonder what it is that you do to me that makes me wait for your texts, wait for you to go online, and want to see you at school. I guess it’s just you =P hehe I honestly will never regret this…. ^^ This year will be full of memories…I can tell already, it’s your senior year and my sophomore year. We’ll make the best of it… and you promised you’ll visit after you graduate… ^^ There’s your motivation to visit hehe!!
I wish you could like stay in my block five class to be a tutor or something… *sigh* Seeing you during flex and lunch isn’t enough….. >.<” I’m such a weirdo… ==” hehe but then again it doesn’t really matter anymore hehe =3 There’s an early dismissal tmr… if you were here I would have wanted to stay with you… *sigh*… Monday…. Jen’s sweet 16 <3 and I get to see you ^-^ I’ll be an extremely happy child on monday HAHA xD oh my gosh that sounds weird xD OH MY GOSH you know what I just realized… I don’t know why you like me… .-. mmm I’m curious now =OO
~Belle
A Wish Come True… August 24, 2007
11:59am August 24th, 2007
Wow, summer’s almost over… Time to get ready for school, again! I can’t believe that there’s only 11 more days till school. I hardly remember what I did this summer… (whoops!) My parents promised to finally go to the night market wtih me tonight <3 Food and goodies here I come ^^ Just a simple 10 days till my 15th birthday… Another milestone of my life. Half way to 30 == WOOOOOOT LOL haha then I can count down 366 days till I can get my L… that is gonna be soooooooo cool!! There’s so many things that I wished for that has never come true. But then there are also things that I wished for that DID come true. See… forgetting is easy… this summer has been so… ugh == Promise me this will never happen again… >< Wishing at 11:11 isn’t exactly my kind of thing… and yet I actually did. APPARENTLY it worked… I wonder if it’s just me, or is it something that just took a little time before it DID work.
I wonder what everyone’s been doing. This summer has faded several things. It could be good it could be bad. The only thing is that friendships can’t fade, unless both of you were doubting it in the first place. Bonds aren’t created instantly, instead you work for that mutual bond. The bonds that I’m sharing with each of you are different. I can feel that no matter what you guys say to me you guys are protecting me. Others don’t see that because of what they feel about you and through previous misunderstandings. Sometimes I sit and ponder on the fact that you were once like that. Maybe you’ve changed. If each birthday means a new wish I do have a new wish this year. Someone asked if it’s worth it to use my wish on you. I didn’t know the exact answer to that. All I could say was that I had faith in you and there were things that we’ve gone through that led to my decision. The wind’s blowing into my room now, it feels really refreshing. It definitely adds to my good mood, well at least I am right now.
Nothing else to write… at least not right now… NOT in the mood =]
~Belle
